Night Skies (2007)

Night Skies

This is a horror film based on the Phoenix Lights. Just thought you might want to know that...


The Good:
It was subtle in its onset and build-up.
This was supposedly based on some one's weird hypnotic regression, knowing that made it rather fascinating.
The characters were decently written and portrayed by the actors (*see my one caveat below*) .
The special effects were done well, if odd in a few spots.

The Bad:
The main character is weird, some of the decisions were "just not right" in my opinion.
He he, hypnotic regression, hasn't that been discredited yet?
Some of the plot was hokey.
*The individuals in the group made a few terrible/tragic errors in judgement.

Overall: Not quite the extraterrestrial glory of Fire in the Sky, but definately not the cattle mutilation that was Altered.

I purposefully left out any anal probe jokes

House of Blood (2006)

House of Blood

The Good:
The...
This film definately...
I must say that...
So anyway...

The Bad:
Okay, first this film's opening credits went on for seriously 7 minutes, way too long for uninteresting credits with choppy bits of action.
Second, it took this film more than 30 minutes to do anything really.
Alright, then the film decides to repeat itself, no really it does, just with even-less-interesting characters.
Bad, bad, bad english-King James Bible-speak accents and dialouge.

Overall: If you accidentally rent this, return it to the video store and see if they have a policy to exchange a terrible movie for something else (most video stores actually do have those kinds of policies, some places only have it for their old movies, in that case, sorry you were subjected to this film), perhaps you have yet to see Citizen Kane, then rent it for free... or better yet, just rent it rather than this one.

The Grudge (2004)

The Grudge

Yes, yes, yes people, I just saw it for the first time this past week.

The Good:
The film's direction felt clean... hard to explain, but the angles were purposeful, the movements were very specific, the environment was sterile... it felt clean.
The storytelling style was interesting.
In general the plot and concept were okay.

The Bad:
I am yet to be terribly impressed with Sarah Michelle Geller.
It didn't scare me, and what was that sound? Was it a bullfrog? How is a bullfrog frightening?
Making a child creepy is difficult... this child was not creepy.

Overall: I stand by what I have said before, "If you've seen one Japanese remake with some weirdo with a white face (The Ring, The Grudge), you've seen as good as it gets... why bother with another one?"

Land of the Blind (2006)

Land of the Blind

The Good:
One man's journey, the story of a nation, a dark comedy that ceases to be funny as the adept director leads you along a winding trail of political satire, revolutionary philosophy, and callous realism.
It is a fantastic cautionary tale and morality play.
The multiple styles of dress from blended time periods create a caricature of royalty and the ruling elite that is very nice.
The acting was top notch, the directing was amazing, the plot was finely crafted, the dialouge was well-written...

The Bad:
My only real complaint was I wanted it to be longer, it was 110 minutes, but I would have watched it for another 110 minutes. It seemed to end quickly.

Overall: I really enjoyed this film! It pulled me in very quickly with a kind of off-beat dark humor and then introduced interesting political elements and before I knew it I was completely hooked. I am a little drained from it though, in a good way. Good for sparking political and/or philosophical discussion (or thought). No rating by comparison this time, let me just say I enjoyed it immensely.

Rest Stop (2006)

Rest Stop

The Good:
One of the best features of this film is that it is confusing... (if you have a IMDB account you should read the hilarious posts about who KZL 303 is).
It was slightly better than most of the crappy horror films I have the misfortune of watching.
The director did utilize a few different filters and did a competent job directing.

The Bad:
Ok, the acting wasn't good, the dialouge wasn't good, the (insert most aspects of film-making) wasn't good... but seriously folks, it's a low budget horror film called Rest Stop, did you expect much?
It was confusing, frustratingly so... but again, that also adds to the "charm".

Overall: So it wasn't a gem, or a diamond in the rough, or even a dime on a dirty sidewalk that still only brings your grand total in coins to 50 cents when you need 55. But it wasn't the worst film ever. Strange that a film called Rest Stop wouldn't be even 1/10 as good as a film called Phone Booth.

Flyboys (2006)

Flyboys

The Good:
The dogfights were pretty cool, and honestly, that's all I really wanted to see. Had it been an hour and a half of biplane vs triplane action, I would have been happy.
The setting was great, the french countryside is beauiful (or wherever they were shooting).
The actions and reactions of the characters varied a good deal, that seemed to add to the realism.
It showed the horror of the Great War while also showing the type of restained nobility that is often romanticized in accounts of WWI.
Did I mention the dogfights :-)

The Bad:
The plot seemed to thrust the characters into the thick of it without a lot of character development (but they do develop as the story progresses).
I didn't care for the music... it didn't seem to fit in some places and in others it caused what would have otherwise been a decent dramatic scene to teeter on the edge of melodrama.
It was a little predictable.

Overall: It reminded me of an older film with contemporary effects, romance and high flying action. It is well worth seeing, but don't expect a Platoon or a Saving Private Ryan.

***The Great War was such a strange conflict. Romantic notions tied to burgeoning mechanical flight, young mens' idealism contrasting with chemical warfare, iron crosses and zeppelins, trench warfare and civilian causalties. I find it endlessly fascinating and tragic. It marked the beginning of modern war and an end to the naive notion that war is only fought by the soldiers.***

Incubus (2005)

Incubus

The Good:
One character had a brain in this film... she sensed the rest of the idiots in the group had a terrible idea, then she left (within like 10 minutes).

The Bad:
Pretty much everything... the plot was idiotic, the dialouge was ridiculous, the characters were shallow, the pacing was terrible, the directing was average at best.

Overall: If everything could be reduced to a simple yes or no answer, this film would be a "For god's sake no! Save your selves! Run! No!!!" If I hadn't been reading about igneous plutonic rocks also known as igneous intrusive rocks, I would have probably died of boredom.

Hide and Creep (2004)

Hide and Creep

A semi-humorous attempt at a zombie flick. Cheap and you can tell it. A noble effort that fails at its execution. Don't bother, instead grab Shaun of the Dead.

Saw 3 (2006)

Saw III

The Good:
I found parts of this installment of the "Saw" franchise to more tolerable than the other 2, the main reason being that it only focused on two people in "traps" and actually attempted some character development on the villians.
I have a soft spot for Shawnee Smith, she's not a great actress, she's not the most beautiful woman in Hollywood, but I like her for some reason.
It had a few real thriller moments.

The Bad:
Anyone who has seen the other "Saw" movies won't be surprised by the traps or plot devices used in this film.
This film looks exactly like the other 2 in feel and ambience.
Some things that happen are near impossible to believe.
There are a few moments that are meant to be neat surprises that fall terribly short.

Overall: If you liked Saw or Saw II, then you'll like this installment... I haven't been impressed by any so far, but if I had to pick one, I liked Saw II best.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

The Good:
I like seeing any serial horror franchise keep going, even though this is one of my least favorites.
It does explain the backgrounds of some of the characters from the remake's storyline.
I have a soft-spot for R. Lee Ermey and enjoy seeing him in any movie, though this isn't one of his best.

The Bad:
The plot (just plain old bad storytelling), the characters (paper-thin and under motivated), the gore (not gross enough to be comical and not subtle enough to be creepy), the boring use of the chainsaw (let's see some creativity here Leatherface!), so on and so forth...

Overall: This is the same old crap from this new birth of Leatherface, no better than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or even The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, actually this one is a bit worse, which might just make it terrible.

The Descent (2005)

The Descent

The Good:
The director did a great job of giving you the feeling of claustrophobia.
The lighting was done very well, in other words most of the movie was in near total darkness.
Suspension of disbelief is easy in this film.
The all female cast worked with the plot quite well.
Though this setting has been used in horror films in the past, I believe this film does the best at utilizing the subterranean.

The Bad:
I only remember 2 characters' names out of 6, ie to me only 2 of the characters were interesting (being basically the two lead characters).
The character motivations were strange in some parts, or maybe they were just strange to a rational person... what? You don't think I'm rational? I am so, and if don't believe me I'll make you regret it!!!

Overall: This movie was quite pleasing for a horror film. Its a breath of new life into a field littered with flapdoodle hoping to masquerade as mediocrity. If you liked what Dog Soldiers did for werewolves, then you should enjoy what this film does for spelunking (same director).

Undead (2003)

Undead

The Good:
Some of the zombie-killing-action was cool.
The last 15 minutes of the movie was interesting, it took a neat twist... getting there was quite a wait though.
A few good chuckles.

The Bad:
The acting wasn't so good.
Smurf-tinting abounds, in other words, the entire film is in a blue hue/filter, like night filmed during the day.
Lighting is bad.
The story was weird, hard to follow... wait, I don't think there was much of a story until the last 15 minutes.

Overall: Sap all the positive story-telling of a Romero film, then rob Dead Alive of its humor, then make a bad copy of the sweet camera work of Evil Dead 2, mix it all together and you have this film.

Idiocracy (2006)

Idiocracy

The Good:
The theme was great, if we're not careful the world is going to become filled with idiots.
It had some very funny parts.
Maya Rudolph is always great.
It was written and directed by Mike Judge, a major plus to me.
Biting political, corporateand social satire masked in... no covered in low brow comedy.

The Bad:
It's not really the kind of movie you watch more than once.
Some of the jokes are painfully bad, but of course that fits with the theme of the film.

Overall: It was a fun film to watch, it's no Office Space but it is slightly better than a bad Beavis and Butthead episode.

Brick (2005)

Brick

The Good:
The Femme Fatale, the reluctant investigator tied to the "case" by his heart, the underworld, odd characters, the style and jargon of a classic film noir with a teenage setting - no less dirty and no less complex.
The camera angles were perfect, the settings were gorgeous, the costuming was even pretty sweet.
The music help set the scene at every stage.
Little bits of humor that make you smile.

The Bad:
As with any detective drama, there were parts that were bit slow.
It takes a minute to get used to the actor who plays the main character in a serious role, I kept thinking, "Hehe, he's the kid from Third Rock." That passes though, he does a good job.
For a bit you are confused with what exactly is going on, but that is again par for most in the noir style.

Overall: Pleasantly surprised! I liked this film a great deal. I would say that Laura would even be proud of this film.

The Covenant (2006)

The Covenant

The Good:
Some of the special effects were pretty neat.
Wow... you know... that's all I got.

The Bad:
The sound effects were terrible.
The plot was bad and worse than bad, it was fantasticly slow.
The characters were paper-thin.
The "history" was sparse and uninteresting.
The idea was just bad from the get-go, shame on the studio executive who greenlighted this project.

Overall: It's like watching The Craft with all the good parts removed, and The Craft ain't the greatest movie ever made to begin with.

Altered (2006)

Altered

This is the newest movie by Eduardo Sanchez, the director of the The Blair Witch Project. I picked it up hoping that it would entertain me as much as his first film. Unlike so many of the people I know, I really enjoyed The Blair Witch Project, and in light of that was willing to give Mr.Sanchez a another go.

The Good:
The concept is neat. Alien abductees trying to get revenge on their alien abductors.
I honestly believed some of the actors were rednecks.
Um... the back of the DVD case was a hoot to read.

The Bad:
The concept might have been neat, but the actual story was not at all interesting. The attempts to build tension really just made me think, "I know why the aliens dropped these idiots back off on Earth!"
The film felt cramped, like it needed to get outside the house more. Then when it does, you realize that the outdoors sucks just as much in the film.
The end was terrible... but then again so was the beginning and the middle.

Overall: I would say that if you wanted this high caliber of film, you should instead rent any Steven Segal film that has a 3 word title...
Flight of Fury
Mercenary for Justice
Today You Die
Out of Reach
Fire Down Below (always thought that sounded like a porn title)
Out for Justice
On Deadly Ground
Marked for Death
Hard to Kill
Above the Law


Hey, here's a fun exercise. What do you think should be the next Steven Segal three-word film title?

Bound to Fight!

Has to Kill!

Get that Thing!

Bring my Coffee!

I Kill Soda!

The Wicker Man (2006)

The Wicker Man (2006)

The Good:
Leelee Sobieski for some reason seems to captivate me. She is like a pretty Helen Hunt.
The... um... uh... there was a... um.... the lighting was good, ramchip! (a little MST3K reference for ya).

The Bad:
Slow and not even interesting.
I usually try and view a remake as a new movie, and many have been verey good movies, but this, this was just terrible.
They changed the creepy into the stupid.
I can barely type I disliked it so much.

Overall: Wow, amazingly bad. This film may well be a Feeling Minnesota.

Though it does make me appreciate living in the modern world... wicker man... bah! Human sacrifices! Silly celtic barbarian idiots*! They should be thankful the Romans brought them civilization! I find the celts endlessly fascinating, but "Hail Caesar!"

*Well, the ones in the British Isles at least. The further east you go the more the celts become civil.

Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic (2005)

Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic

The Good:
F***ing hilarious.
Offends EVERYONE!
Sarah Silverman is beautiful, not just her looks, but yes her looks and her dirty dirty soul! Mmmmmm.
Cool songs, hehehe.
Excellent "supporting cast".

The Bad:
Too short :-(
Offends EVERYONE! :-)

Overall: I loved the film, but it is not for everyone. If you are offended by, um, anything, then don't bother watching this, but if you like being pushed to the limits of what is funny and what might make you a little or a lot uncomfortable, watch this movie! I adored it. Oh, yeah, you can watch the entire film on her myspace page if you'd like - click this.*

Beerfest (2006)

Beerfest

The Good:
I like the overall feel of the Broken Lizard troupe, they always seem like a bunch of buddies having a good time.
I laughed out loud a good number of times during the film.
They are a quite a few good, more well-known, actors that pop up in the movie.
You never know where this zany story is headed next... except for the few parts that are completely and utterly predictable. :-)

The Bad:
If you want something more realist than a Three Stooges movie, rent something else.
A few parts of the film are quite gross, but not too disturbingly so.
The plot is... what is a word that means thinner than thin? Paper-thin, razor-thin, monofilament thin?

Overall: This film falls somewhere between Super Troopers & Puddle Cruiser (weighted more heavily on the Super Troopers side). Grab a few brews and enjoy, I definitely did.

Population 436 (2006)

Population 436

The Good:
The plot took its time to develop and build into an interesting story.
The acting was pretty good.
I like seeing a good horror/thriller that takes place in the daylight.
The main character reacts, in general, like a sane and rational human being. That is somewhat of an rarity in a horror.
Kept my attention.

The Bad:
It was a little slow in parts.
Some characters seemed extraneous, especially this one kid (used basically to propel the plot) and this other weird teen.
Nothing put you on the edge of your seat, not that it totally needed to.

Overall: I liked this movie more than I ever expected to. I give it a middle America Wicker Man... well, not that good though.