Tamara (2005)

Tamara

Take 2 cups of Urban Legends: Bloody Mary, mix it with 2 cups of The Rage: Carrie 2, add in a teaspoon of Fatal Attraction, and a generous 1/2 - 2/3 cup of The Craft. Then bake in a preheated oven at 300 degrees for 2 hours. Eat. Wait until it has digested. Use the bathroom. Look into the toilet. Ah, there it is, the perfect review for Tamara.

X-Men: The Final Stand (2006)

X-Men: The Last Stand

(written June 20, 2006)
I was so excited to see this the third installment in the X-Men franchise. I had been anticipating it for months. The movie poster was even my desktop at work. So...

The Good:
I always like seeing the new character included in any comic book movie, so seeing Angel, Beast, Callisto, Juggernaut...
I really liked Juggernaut a lot. He was dumb, cliche and just in general a great choice for the role.
It was pretty... the special effects were neat to look at.
Got to see the Ghost Rider preview.
The Wolverine in the woods bit was pretty fun.

The Bad:
I respect that the story was different than the comic cannon, but the plot was just bad. One can stray from the cannon and still make a great film. For instance the choices made by Marvel and Raimi in Spider-Man: they made the web-shooters part of his physical change and switched Mary Jane and Gwen Stacy (and made her survive). Great decisions - superb movie. Though the first Spider-man film was a 10, to be honest I liked the second film even better. Wow, I strayed from my point I think.
No character development. I cared for no one in the film.
No regard for physics - see the fight in the house, especially the Juggernaut/Wolverine part.
Terrible ending... terrible.
What the heck was the point of putting Angel in the movie? He was superfluous.

Overall: Sadly, I give this movie a Batman & Robin. It was interesting to see once... It has pretty girls in it... but the earlier movies were better...*sigh* the first two X-Men were so good. Brian singer you better deliver on Superman Returns.

The Pink Panther (2006)

The Pink Panther (2006)

What can I say... I expected so little... it delivered sooo little.

The Good:
Beyonce Knowles is amazing to behold. If you rent the DVD, check out her music video on there. She is a hypnotic vision of bliss... ah...
I think I chuckled once. Oh who am I kidding! On to the bad.

The Bad:
Nearly everything. The plot. The characters.
This movie was at the very best, nothing special.
Steve Martin completely over-acted. I miss Peter Sellers, not just as Clouseau, but in general I loved Peter Sellers.

Overall: Get a clue! That was the tag line... I agree! Definately a Fargo.

Underworld: Evolution (2006)

Underworld: Evolution

I enjoyed the first movie. It was a great action/horror. Fun, dark, and gritty. Aside from the ending, which wasn't bad, just odd, I really liked Underworld.

The Good:
Sweet effects.
The look and mood of this piece fit well with the other film. It was different but not bad... like I said, it fit well.
The fight scenes were neat.
Kate Beckinsale was good in the film, and being clad in the skin-tight black leather outfit, that's Campbell's soup baby!
The writer/director's concept of a powerful vampire was dead on in my book (well, I might have made him a little more powerful, but the first scene with him was perfect).

The Bad:
I didn't truly care for the plot or the lore (immortals that weren't thoroughly explained).
The characters didn't seem to grow very much in depth in this film number 2.
It felt like something was about to happen all the time, but nothing ever really did.

Overall: Not bad overall. Not great, but not bad. Definately a fun watch, The Mummy Returns if you replace the comedy with some twilight undeath.

The Ringer (2005)

The Ringer

Okay, before I begin, I have to say normally I would never have even considered picking this up, but my roommate wanted to see it. Why would I not want to see it: One, it's Johnny Knoxville, who has never been funny to me. Two, the concept has already been done, in South Park of all places. And three... I mean... come on.

The Good:
I laughed at one part really hard (it was this on guy talking about ice cream... you'd just have to see that part).
I enjoyed the parts with the guys in the Special Olympics.

The Bad:
It was a terrible movie.
The moral of the story sucked, what I took away from it was, "If you lie, cheat and take advantage of the good-will in other people, you get the girl".
Did I mention it was already done in South Park?
I only laughed that one time, granted it was a real laugh, but in a comedy one laugh is not good.

Overall: Instead watch when Eric Cartman does the same thing. It is better written in South Park, it is better executed in South Park, it ... was better in South Park. If you want to watch a terrible comedy I recommend Joe's Apartment, the roaches are more talented than Johnny Knoxville and more likeable.

Hostel (2005)

Hostel

To be honest, I have heard very little about this movie. So here we go.

The Good:
I enjoy the unorthodox use of P.O.V. in the film.
Lots of topless women, that indeed was a plus.
The settings in the movie were very nice, not utilized quite enough in my opinion but they were none the less nice.
I enjoyed the character Oli.
For a few minutes there was a nice tense feeling of frantic desperation.
The weird little kids were cool.
Did I mention the women without clothes?

The Bad:
It took about an hour for it to really get into the "horror".
Did these guys not ever think about calling or emailing someone in the US, I mean sure they are young guys on vacation but everyone I know drops into internet cafes to send out mass emails at every stop or in the least calls some from Europe, I mean it's cool to ring some one and say, "How's it going?...Me, nah I can't come over right now, I'm in Slovakia."
I didn't really feel connected with Paxton and Josh, the main characters.
A lot of the torture reminded me of Hostel's executive producer Quentin Tarantino's ear removal and various other scenes from Reservoir Dogs.
The end left me unsatisfied.

Overall: Well, it was a very average movie. Not shocking, not inventive, but not terrible. If you are wondering what I would compare this to, well, were it a sci-fi it would merely be The One , but with less kick-ass fight and more boobies.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

I picked this up the other day mainly because I hadn't seen a good movie about possession in years. So I popped it in and crossed my fingers, although it probably would have been more appropriate to "cross" myself :-).

The Good:
The film executed being believable very well (of course it is based on a true story).
It combined a courtroom drama and horror movie very well.
The movie turned out to be not so scary, but it was quite creepy - which works much better for one's suspension of disbelief.
The subtle color/lighting symbolism was sweet (Joseph Conrad you coulda learned a few things from the film!).
It presented some very interesting philosophical. spiritual, and legal questions.

The Bad:
The story doesn't move extremely fast.
I thought there should have been a little more from the family's POV, but of course it wasn't their story.

Overall: I really liked this movie. I had seen it on the shelf for weeks and weeks and passed it by, too bad for me. Regardless of faith or lack of faith or anti-faith you have, this is a good film. I give this movie an Exorcist II: The Heretic + Exorcist III +Omen IV: The Awakening , in other words better than those 3 combined.

Aeon Flux (2005)

Aeon Flux

So I kinda remember the cartoon from liquid television. But didn't she die at the end of each one? Never really cared for the animation anyway.

The Good:
Charlize Theron is much easier on the eyes than the animation was.
The colors were very crisp and interesting the film.
Some of the scenes were very stylized in kind of an Aeon Flux anime way.
The look of the movie was cool.

The Bad:
Plot holes abound, in the scant plot there was, were plentiful.
The CG while good, was much less intriguing than I would have thought.
The dialouge was terrible.
The action was not in the slightest believable (perhaps it would have been moreso if she would have died a few times).

Overall: I would say this film is barely The Matrix Reloaded, but with the same number of plot holes and a lot less cool effects.

Crimson Rivers: Angels of the Apocalypse (2004)

Crimson Rivers: Angels of the Apocalypse

This is a french film about a strange cult and a number of killings that take place "mimicing the deaths of the 12 Apostles" (so says the box). Having not seen the first Crimson Rivers, I had no idea what to expect. BTW, it has both Christopher Lee and Jean Reno in it (and this film is subtitled).

The Good:
The scenery is quite interesting in the film.
The directing is pretty good.
There is a chase scene early in the film between a killer monk and a cop that is spectacular.
Cool gadget at the beginning that can see through walls.
Christopher Lee.

The Bad:
The plot was not well defined or perhaps I didn't find it engaging enough to try and follow.
The are a few moments that were too obviously foreshadowing.
Jesus? - (Trust me, it was just weird.)
The end's pacing seemed off.

Overall: I give it one Matrix Revolutions (meaning, "I'm happy I saw it but wouldn't really want to see it again.).

Gabriel (2007)

Gabriel

The Good:
It tried to be different.
It used some interesting names for angels, some not too often heard.

The Bad:
The pop theology was disgusting.
It tried to ask philosophical questions about man but used angels as the metaphysical backdrop - freaking idiotic if you ask me. I mean, I suppose it could be done, but this film failed in that endeavor.
Predictable.
Didn't really explain the "rules" of what was going on.
Tried really hard to look "cool"... but it wasn't.

Overall: I wanna be The Prophecy, not wait, I wanna be The Matrix, no no no, I wanna be Underworld... but I wanna be deep, but not too deep, ok, not deep, but seem deep. Yeah... I wanna be the Prophecy of the Matrix Underworld and pretend to ask philosophical and theological questions that aren't entirely thought through... yeah.

Skip this film.

2001 Maniacs (2005)

2001 Maniacs

I grabbed this the other night because I saw Robert Englund was in it and it looked like a "terrible" (you know funny good kinda terrible) movie. I went into it not expecting much.

The Good:
It was exactly what I had hoped for: it didn't take itself seriously, it was downright silly in part, I laughed, topless girls, and shook my head a lot ("He/She didn't just say that did he/she?").
Robert Englund was great.
I enjoyed every death scene with a chuckle.
A fun "terrible" horror movie. Though to be honest, there have been so many of this style of movie made, I think it deserves its own genre. First off, it's not really a horror movie. And secondly, I don't think it was trying to be a horror movie in the traditional sense. I shall call this genre "horroredy".
The redneck singing duo was awesome... reminded me of the guys in There's Something About Mary or another of the exact same "horroredy" genre Dead and Breakfast

The Bad:
The plot.
The acting.
Some of the effects.
Lack of explanation of some very odd things.

Overall: If you only like "good" movies then stay away, otherwise I give this an 85% Bubba Ho-tep

Frenzy (1972)

Frenzy

I hadn't seen a Hitchcock movie in quite some time and to honest I have never been a big Hitchcock fan. I picked up Frenzy off the shelf and figured that I might as well try it. Besides the back of the DVD said it alternated "suspense scenes with moments of Hitchcock's distinctive black humor".

The Good:
Amazing use of silence throughout the picture.
The "black humor" actually made me laugh out loud a few times. Especially the potato truck scene and the inspector's wife.
Odd twists.
First R-rated Hitchcock film.
Jon Finch gave a good performance, believable.

The Bad:
Slow pacing compared to today's films (not necessarily bad, just be aware).
A few characters were a little 2 dimesional.
The end disappointed me a little.

Overall: I enjoyed this film. It had merit and character, I give it a 2/3 Double Indemnity.

The Hitcher (1986)

The Hitcher

I picked up The Hitcher at the video store last night because my friends who work there, Bryan and Molly, recommended it. I must have passed over it a hundred times really not thinking twice about it, but I watched it last night.

The Good:
It was a fun game of cat-and-mouse (as the box had advertised).
The scenery was great and much of the cinematography was interesting.
It takes no time getting started and then basically the tense action doesn't stop until the end.
Rutger Hauer, C. Thomas Howell and Jennifer Jason Leigh are in it.
Rutger Hauer is such a great villain and an underrated actor, well at least in the eighties (see Blood of Heroes, Ladyhawke, and of course Blade Runner).

The Bad:
There isn't a lot of substance in the film.
Does make you say, "What he should'a done is ..." a lot.
There is a severed finger I didn't quite understand.
There was a few over-the-top moments.

Overall: I would give this movie a double A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge (meaning The Hitcher is at least twice as good as it... and I suppose that makes it 4 times better than A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master).

The Dark (2005)

The Dark

This DVD was just released today (Tuesday, April 11, 2006). I decided to grab it... no really reason... I guess the back sounded okay.

The Good:
It was a cool dour Welsh myth/folktale/ghost story.
For once it was the mom that was a bit harsh, I think especially in horror movies, men get a bad rep for being aggressive and "stressed".
The Welsh countryside is gorgeous.
The story pulls you in pretty well.
The otherworldly stuff is done nicely.
They made sheep creepy.

The Bad:
The little girls in it were ok at best (I don't like to be down on kids as actors, but I don't blame them, I blame the director here)
I got so tired of people yelling, "Sarah!"
I thought they could have push the sanity limit on the mom a little more.
The alternate ending on the DVD was worthless.

Overall: Not bad at all, The Dark gets a 85% Darkness for sure.

Return to Oz (1985)

Return to Oz

Sure, I have seen this movie before, but it was a long time ago. I liked it back then. Now:

The Good:
Fairuza Balk is a great Dorothy. Sometimes her mannerisms completely reminded me of young Judy Garland, sometimes they well a well-sculpted orignal Dorothy... just a wonderful Dorothy.
Tik-Tok is one of the coolest characters of all time. Our military thinking could learn a lot fom the concept. An army that: one can't wind (or fund) itself, two thinks of ways to get out of a situation that doesn't always call for violence, and three talks when it is need only.
Jack is another great character is the film and the Gump isn't so bad either (better than the one in Forrest Gump but not quite as good as the weird ass one in Legend.).
Fun story... a bit dark as any good sequel should be.
Neat scenery.

The Bad:
I totally disliked the looks of the original Oz characters, except the Tin-Man (he was ok).
Ozma & Billina... the characters, the ideas, the everythings.
The wheelers don't seem so menacing anymore, sort of psycho with plastic wheel for a hand - frightening until you realize they have a wheel for a hand.
Some of the special effects were so-so at best.

Overall: Super movie. I still love it! I totally give it a 90% Labyrinth.

MoH: Pelts (2006)

Masters of Horror: Pelts

The Good:
I liked the modern seedy noir feel of much of the film (strip clubs and sweat shops), the remainder is filled with hillbillies and raccoons.
Meat Loaf is in it, he's great (btw, he's billed as Meatloaf Aday in the credits hehehe).
Adult Content.
The directing was smooth and disturbing, I found myself laughing in disgust multiple times.
Some of it was quite funny (though I'm not sure it was meant to be).
I liked the interplay of lust, obsession, greed... well basically "sin" coupled with animals pelts. Flesh fuels flesh.

The Bad:
Some of it was funny though I'm sure it was not meant to be.
It played around with a few different concepts that seemed to give depth to the plot, but none of them ever went anywhere.
Hard for me to see raccoons as menacing.

Overall: Not bad, I would say somewhere inbetween MOH: Dance of the Dead and MOH: The Fair-Haired Child.

For Your Consideration (2006)

For Your Consideration

The Good:
There were a few decent laughs that seemed to be in the true tradition of Christopher Guest.
The action in the background was pretty neat.
I love Parker Posey, but I mean who doesn't?
Some of the return "Guest players" are pretty good, but sadly those people are in the minor roles (example Michael Hitchcock, who is one of the best of the best in my opinion anyway).

The Bad:
Not nearly as funny as I was hoping.
I really, really don't care about actors lives in Hollywood. Plus it is difficult to "do Christopher Guest comedy" when we actually think the people involved are absurd from the get-go. What makes his other films so great is the unexpected extremes the people go to, whether it be folk singers worshipping colors, dog owners transfering the tension of their relationship onto their dog, or the entire town becoming entrenched in a play that is a marvelous trainwreck, it's those extremes that surprise us and make us connect with the characters. Actors in Hollywood are assumed to be weird and absurd and neurotic, I don't know if I am getting my point across... *exhale* oh well.
It didn't feel like a finished film, it felt incomplete somehow.

Overall: This movie is much more a tragedy than a comedy and I mean that either way you take it. I can't even muster up the strength to give it half A Mighty Wind.

Devil' Den (2006)

Devil's Den

The Good:
Surprisingly funny (as long as you can take nice lowbrow horror comedy).
Cliches that actually add to the plot... I'm sorry, I don't actually mean to imply there's a plot.
Supernatural butt-kicking action.
Kelly Hu.
A lot of fun if you let it be, or you could MST3K it and enjoy it on that level.

The Bad:
Paper-thin plot.
Characters that are ridiculously melodramatic.
Strangely little "Adult Content" to be set in a strip club.
Nothing novel or particularly well-done about it...

Overall: I say, let yourself go and indulge in some monster killing mayhem for a bit. It's a poor man's From Dusk Til Dawn - but if you don't expect too much, you might just enjoy it (or you might not).

Lady in the Water (2006)

Lady in the Water

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a sucker for a folk/fairy tale, that is exactly what Lady in the Water is. It's a story akin in form to and having the film structure similar of 1980's semi-family-friendly fims like Gremlins or tv shows like Amazing Stories. It is rated PG-13, and that is a fair rating, I would let my kids see it a little younger but with me there, it some parts that a little scary for the youngins. It also plays right on that line of what is sappy and what is "heart" (see Cocoon, another 1980's classic). I found it a welcome change in direction for M. Night Shyamalan. His directing skills have never been in question in my mind, but as for his writing, I was beginning to think for could only write for the big twist ending. I might have to say... this is my favorite movie he has done so far, slightly better than Unbreakable. I am happy I saw it and in a few years time would happy watch it again to experience the film again.

The Return (2006)

The Return

I keep wanting to like Sarah Michelle Gellar, largely due to the fact she is becoming the mainstream's new "Scream Queen". I want to like her so much... but alas she has yet to do anything I have enjoyed, not on the big screen, not on the small screen. Oh well, enough griping about SMG. The Return isn't a traditional horror movie or traditional thriller, it's a strange combination of the two but lacking in the essential elements of both. It fails to inspire fright or suspense, it also fails to keep ones attention. The direction was slow and uninteresting. The plot was a bit confusing, and not in the way good thrillers are supposed to be. It starts out boring and gets worse as it progresses. I asked the guy at the video store if this was ever in theaters, he said it was and I wondered why I hadn't heard about it, now I know why, it was horribly bad and thankfully word of mouth saved thousands of people's 85 minutes. Sadly The Return made me long for mediocrity of The Grudge.

Devil's Highway (2005)

Devil's Highway

Why-O-why do I subject myself to these kinds of movies time after time? I think it's like a drug addict, I know it's bad for me, I really wanna quit, but I just keep coming back for more. About the film... The acting was bad, very very bad. The plot was sparse to say the least. ***Have to tell you this one part. There's this girl is on the bus (it takes place mostly on a bus). This guy asks her how old she is. She says 17 and like 3 people laugh, and so did I. Thing was, we laughed for different reasons, I laughed because I was thinking that the girl was at least 26, they laugh because they thought she was under 17. This is her. IMDB doesn't list her age but seriously look at her and this movie was made less than 2 years ago. Anyway...***The "horror" was vague to irrationally weird. Okay, but I can let all that go, seriously, I mean that describes a good 2/3 of the horror films ever made, but the sound editing. Oh my freaking god! It was so amazingly bad I almost turned the movie off countless times because of it. Some parts were WAY TOO LOUD-then immediately quiet-THEN TOO LOUD AGAIN. Some people would speak, but you would have no clue what they had said because it was too quiet, others would speak and it would be garbled. Bad editor, bad! I cannot in any way give this film a good review, avoid (then again most of you don't have my affliction of watching wretched horror). Sorry you read a review you already knew the outcome to :-)

The Legend of Bloody Jack (2007)

The Legend of Bloody Jack

When I was in the 10th grade, my english teacher asked us to write a story within a story within a story as a group project (Pylgrim X was in my group), much like the novel Frankenstein is at one point - you have the guy writing his sister of the story the monster tells inside the story Victor tells. We had a blast with this project! Among other things I got to pretend to have sex outside the door with a popular cheerleader who never liked me (we tossed in clothes to make it look like a furious affair), and we used awesome names in it, the only one I can recall is one of the women in the story was named Carroll O'Connor. Ah, that was a good time! I bring this up because it is what this film attempts to do... sadly a group of 10th graders did it better (well to honest Pylgrim X and I did all the work on the project). So as a quick summation of this movie - oh that was a story... oh wait that was a story?... hold on was that story too... this is stupid!

City of Rott (2006)

City of Rott

Alright, this is not the greatest movie ever, it's not the greatest badly drawn movie ever, it's not the greatest zombie movie ever, but it might be the greatest badly drawn zombie movie ever. I have to admit, even though the plot was ridiculous, the characters were paper-thin (except Fred the main character), and the whole movie felt dirty, I liked it. It's about an old man who is on a search for a new pair of shoes in a world filled with zombies. He fends of the undead hoardes with the help of Walker, his walker that talks to him. He meets people along the way and stuff happens, but you can't help feeling for old Fred and his plight. Bad animation, poor story, but funny and a good time - better than I expected.

300 (2007), though IMDB says 2006

300

So I actually got out to the theatre tonight (Tuesday, March 20, 2007) and saw 300. The previews looked so very pretty and the tale is quite a turning point in human history, and though I had not read the Frank Miller graphic novel, I really enjoyed Sin City and its comic to film look and this one seemed similar. On with the review...

The Good:
Fantastically gorgeous, it was like watching a painting that displayed itself and basked in the fact it knew it was beautiful.
Some scenes were as if plucked off of grecian urns or reliefs.
It felt like a history injected with a needle full of Tolkien juice.
If you allow yourself to be submerged in the film, it is a great ride.
The closing credits were very cool.

The Bad:
I realize its historic fiction but some missed opportunities were very sad, I won't ruin it for you who haven't seen the film, but afterwards I recommend reading what actually happened on the end of the valiant stand of the 300, it is much better than what happened in the movie... and the sheilds... and the oracle... and the other troops... and the Immortals... and Xerxes... and... and please forgive me but my first love is history.
The speeches were ok at best, tried to be inspiring but it just wasn't working with me (that is not to say the actors weren't good, perhaps it was the dialouge).

Overall: It was an amazingly stunning visual work of art. I enjoyed myself immensely. A history lesson it was not. I say its a Braveheart if you replace the real drama with melodrama and the grit of realist gore with glorious stylized gore (they are on par as far historic accuracy goes though).

First Born (2007)

First Born

The Good:
It was confusing.
The mood created in the film is exactly what I think the director was shooting for.

The Bad:
The movie was disjointed (I think it was meant to be).
The acting was ok at best, Elizabeth Shue was better in The Karate Kid.
Bad plot.
Lacking dialouge.
The marketing was wrong completely... I felt lied to by the box.

Exhale: The film was a waste of time. Perhaps if I were a mother who had suffered from post-baby depression (how do you spell that post-pardim?).

Petrified (2006)

Petrified

So, you'd think a film about an ancient space mummy terrorizing the countryside and eventually reaching a house filled with nymphomaniacs who are the subject of a mad doctors experiments, while being chased by FBI agents, would be a good film right? Well, it isn't! But then again you probably answered "no" anyway. Avoid this movie, its not even MST3K fun.

Sublime (2007)

Sublime

The Good:
It had an interesting idea behind it (been done before in a variety of ways, but always interesting to see different directors executing it), I'm not going to ruin it and reveal the idea toi you.
The acting was decent, Thomas Cavanagh was very believable.
I liked the symbolism used in it.
Multi-layered plot, if you make it one.

The Bad:
I would have gone more heavily into the symbols rather than the use of disjointed plot mechanics as the director chose.
It was a little slow at times.
Not a "horror" as I was hoping for when I picked it up, it was more pychological in its vague storyline.

Overall: Not so bad. I would rather watch it than get stuck in Room 6 again (plots were similar but Room 6 was not as good).

Ghost Rider (2007)

Ghost Rider

The Good:
It was a comic book character that had never made a big screen appearance yet.
The special effects were ok.
The catering was done by Hel's Kitchen :-)
Sam Elliot's narration was cool, but it kept making me think of The Big Lebowski.

The Bad:
The acting was a yawn fest.
The plot was at best horribly predictable.
The love story was uninspired.
The fight scenes were miserable.
It took forever for anything to actually happen (and the story wasn't good enough for that).

Overall: This one may well be approaching Feeling Minnesota status.

The Gravedancers (2006)

The Gravedancers

The Good:
I like horror films....
This was a horror film...
I like this film?
Logic doesn't always work.

The Bad:
The whole thing was...
uh...
bad.

Overall: (see The Bad).

Turistas (2006)

Turistas

The Good:
Hot Brazilian girls.
Ok gore.

The Bad:
Slow.
Boring.
I didn't care for any of the characters.
The plot had so many holes.

Overall: Just as bad as when it was done in 2005 and was called Hostel. The only question you have to answer is: Do you want to see naked hot eastern European girls or naked hot Brazilian girls before you fall asleep?

Jesus Camp (2006)

Jesus Camp

The Good:
First I thought that the filmmaker was very fair to the subjects in this documentary.
It was a revealing look into the indoctrination of children into a fundamentalist faith, you could have easily replaced Jesus with Allah or Pentecostal with Shia.
It seemed to flow very smoothly, I could have watched another hour of it.
A great example of how a documentary should be done, especially in the fact that the filmmaker allowed his subjects to tell their own story.

Bad:
I really have little negative to say about this one, but I tend to be overly kind with documentaries :-)

Overall: Simply put, I recommend this film.

Succubus: Hell Bent (2007)

Succubus: Hell Bent

Let me just list the problems, because you already know it's not a good movie:
- You would think a movie about a demonic seductress would be "sexy"... it was not in the least bit "sexy".
- The dialoug was awful.
- The main character was completely unsympathetic, I honestly wanted him punished (ie die and have his soul dragged to hell).
- Kelly Hu was in this movie? Yep, unless you went to grab a drink and missed that 30 seconds.
- Sadly, Gary Busey was perhaps the highlight of the movie! Well, for the minute he was on screen.
- Lorenzo Lamas made an appearance... that didn't help the movie.
- There was nothing interesting or original about anything in the film.
- The "funny lines" in the movie were dumb cliches at best, but were mostly just stupid.
- I feel ill.

Candy (2006)

Candy

When you go to the dentist and get x-rays done of your teeth
the dentist first places on your chest a leaden vest
pliable yet more heavy than it should be
once I had a dream that I had one of those vests on
but it began to get heavier and heavier
until it was unbearable
then it was removed and yet
I could still feel the weight
not oppressive but persistant
real and completely imagined
it reminded me of watching this film

I enjoyed the movie a lot, enjoyed perhaps is the wrong word... It was a lot like Requiem for a Dream, but with a sense of veiled hope that from another perspective is but hopeless desperation. Unlike Requiem for a Dream, it had no surrealism in it. It is a solid film that feels all-too-real and still has an interesting understanding of subtle symbolism. And I have to admit I really enjoyed the soundtrack although I can't exactly say why.

The Weather Underground (2002)

The Weather Underground

A very intriguing documentary about an organization that seems either forgotten or purposefully erased. I think it is an important film and it does make you think about war and America's role in the world. The people from the Weather Underground were thoughtful and intelligent revolutionaries with an interesting history. The filmmakers also did a good job of interviewing people from the other side too, whether that means the others on the radical left or the FBI. My only problem with the documentary is that at times it is a little slow, but it is very much worth the watch. A+

Final Destination 2 (2003)

Final Destination 2

Alrighty, you all already know that this film can't possibly be a Citizen Kane, but let me tell you it might be worth your 2 hours if you can catch it on tv for free. First off, the plot is kind of blah. It's story is basicly the same as the first movie with a few minor differences. The acting is ok, it does at least have Ali Larter of Heroes fame. The strengths of this movie lie in the death scenes and edited for television content (if you will remember a few sentences back, I did say to watch it on tv ). The deaths are often quite humorous, I mean if you will allow yourself to chuckle at the tragedy, this is made much easier to do because of the almost nonchalant way they treat each death. Go ahead laugh. And the edited for tv stuff is just as funny. I think I nearly choked on dinner when one of the characters remarked, "That's bull stuff man! I control my life, that's bull stuff!". So if you have nothing else to watch and this film is playing for the 512th time on the SciFi channel, give it a watch. I promise you won't "like" it, but you may get as many laughs as most comedies from the last few years.

Older Blog Entries

I am going to be publishing my old blog entries from the other blogs so that my movie reviews will be more complete. This may take some time, and some might not make a lot of sense because I am not necessarily publishing them in order. Some of them will have a date on them (if I say something like "today...") that I put on them before I published them on this blog.

Superman: Doomsday (2007)

Superman: Doomsday

The Good:
I love the Bruce Timm universe (or Timverse as some call it) in general.
It was much more adult than I was expecting, more adult than any animated Superman I have ever seen.
The Superman/Doomsday fight was sweet.
The story was focused heavily on Luthor and Lois Lane.
Well directed and scripted, with drama, cool "shots" and neat effects.
Had some of the iconic moments from the comic version, not a whole lot, but enough.

The Bad:
Clancy Brown will always be the voice of the animated Lex Luthor to me, but in James Marsters defense, he wasn't terrible.
It was just a little short... I would have liked to see about 10 or 15 minutes devoted to Lex.

Overall: After the Timmverse-ish Superman: Brainiac Attacks, I was nervous about another straight to DVD animated feature, but this one is soooooo much better. It delivers on so many levels. Very cool.

30 Days of Night (2007)

30 Days of Night

The Good:
I liked the secondary characters a great deal, they seemed to give the town life.
I enjoyed the "The Stranger" character a lot, sort of a combination between Renfield and Festus from Gunsmoke.
Certain aspects of the vampires were cool (their speed, their language, pack cohesion).
Cool concept, but that is more a commentary on the graphic novel than the film I think.

The Bad:
I disliked most of the main characters, they seemed to be bland and flat.
I would have liked for it to be a little more subtle... at least for a little longer than it was.
Wouldn't a week or more of constant even light snowfall cover up a bloody spot in the snow on the ground?
It wasn't really all that exciting or scary.
I prefer a more limited consistent POV than this film provided (it is not necessary in all films, but the continuity of his movie wasn't engaging enough to inconsistently jump around from person to person - even though it only did so seldomly).

Overall: The vampires themselves were the most interesting part of the film. Other than that, I prefer Lost Boys, or Near Dark, or Fright Night, or maybe even Blade.

3:10 To Yuma (2007)

3:10 To Yuma

The Good:
I always enjoy a good western and this one had all the great elements, gun-fighting, indians, outlaws, the railroad... cattle.
The acting was excellent in the film, both Christian Bale and Russell Crowe were very convincing in their roles.
The plot was simple but the main characters were complex, it really draws you into the story.
The theme and, dare I say masculine aspects of the plot, were very appealing to me.

The Bad:
Some of the secondary cast's acting was so-so.
A few characters were 2D, but it wasn't distracting from the story.

Overall: A good western. A damn good western.

AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem (2007)

AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem

I have little good to say about the film. I suppose it did have a touch of the feel of the old monster versus monster classics, but it wasn't even that engaging. The characters were at best 2D. The plot was overly simple. Some things happened unbelievably fast. I was happy when it was all over. You do get to see a Predator at home though, that was neat at least for those 10 seconds.

Shoot 'Em Up (2007)

Shoot 'Em Up

The Good:
Some of the action was kinda fun.
I somewhat enjoyed Paul Giamatti and Monica Bellucci.

The Bad:
Horrible one-liners throughout the whole freaking movie.
Extremely ridiculous action that begins even before the film attempts to establish any kind of suspension of disbelief.
I didn't realize Clive Owen could act badly.
The "good guy" was too too much of an expert at everything.
There was so much over-the-top action that it got a bit boring.
The whole carrots thing was stupid.

Overall: Even as a farce, this is a bad movie. Skip it. It has few redeeming qualities. I have no idea how it has a 7 out of 10 on IMDB, some one please tell me.

Juno (2007)

Juno

The Good:
This is a quirky character driven film.
The directing is fantastic - the framing was very cool, the movement of the entire piece was fluid and the timing was great.
The actors were all very good.
Great plot progression and truthful theme and moral.
The feel was suburban storybook almost.
Great soundtrack.

The Bad:
Some of the writing was too good, almost too smart to be believable.
Character development must be assumed for some of the characters.

Overall: I liked it a lot. Funny, fun, it has heart, it feels both real and surreal. It may not be the greatest film ever, but it was pretty awesome.

He Was A Quiet Man (2007)

He Was A Quiet Man

If you are in the mood to see a film that has a similar dark comedy tone to Swimming With Sharks, with a hint of the feel of Office Space, with the burdensome sadness of a Falling Down, and a few drops of the quirkiness of Fight Club, then He Was A Quiet Man is for you. I enjoyed it a great deal. I usually dislike Christian Slater, but he was quite good in this movie. It made me laugh, it made me sad, it made me smile. Some of the film was predictable, but I think that was contextually a strength for it. The direction was interesting and the subtle and not-so-subtle special effects were pretty nice. It is definitely not the greatest film of all-time, but if you've ever worked in an office, you will more than likely get where the film is coming from... unless you feel you are "on the edge" at your office right now... then don't watch it :-)

Balls of Fury (2007)

Balls of Fury

The Good:
There were a few laughs in the film: a couple of laughs were provided by Dan Fogler (who seemed to be playing Jack Black), a number of decent chuckles created by Thomas Lennon (Dangle of Reno 911! fame - also one of the writers) and the portions with Diedrich Bader were funny(who only had a bit part).
I liked the music.
The beautiful Maggie Q.
The credits.

The Bad:
It wasn't really that funny overall, too much slapstick that wasn't really working.
The plot... I know, I know, what did I expect.

Overall: It is exactly what you expect it to be. Not great, not terrible, your average formula comedy.

Eagle vs Shark (2007)

Eagle vs Shark

The Good:
I enjoyed the story in general.
Lily was a neat character.
The framing and shots were pretty cool.
The theme and moral of this tale was positive.

The Bad:
I wasn't a big fan of the stop animation in it, thankfully there was very little.
The film moved a little slowly.
It wasn't much of a comedy.

Overall: The film was alright, very much like Napoleon Dynamite in its delivery, though not as believable. I would not highly recommend this film, but it would be a decent Sunday afternoon movie to see if there's nothing else on.

Daywatch (2006)

Daywatch

The Good:
I enjoy the world in this series. The dark vs light universe in these movies is a bit light-hearted and yet very gritty.
The special effects were very cool.
The story was decent, though not nearly as good as the first film.
The characters are pretty interesting.
I love the weirdness of Russian cinema.

The Bad:
It didn't flow like the first film did. It didn't really hit its stride until about 45 minutes in it (the film is 2 hours and 20 minutes long).
A few of the actors were annoying.
Some of the plot elements were lacking.
Sadly, I watched the dubbed version of the film. Part of the coolness of the first movie was the artistic way the subtitles were presented.

Overall: This trilogy would have made a fantastic television series. I enjoy Day Watch a lot, but it was nowhere nearly the film Nightwatch was.

D-War (AKA Dragon Wars)

D-War (AKA Dragon Wars)

The Good:
The Battle in the 16th century was neat, if unbelievable.
Did you know it was part high-flying kung-fu movie?
There were a few stupid laughs in it.
There was a kinda cool King Kong homage of sorts.
The monster movie carnage was fun to watch.

The Bad:
It allowed no time for a suspension of disbelief to set in.
Wow... the plot was similar to badly written episode of Charmed.
I think I saw Sauron in 16th century Korea.
Some stuff just didn't make any sense at all.
Jason Behr's acting was the same as it was in Roswell (funny, I thought his acting was stilted there because he was an alien, I guess not).
The end was confusing and dumb, but it was interesting visually.

(The version I watched didn't have subtitles for the foreign language parts - not sure if it usually does or not)

Overall: It was alright as long as you don't care about plot and all you want to see is Magic vs. Military. If you'd rather see a monster movie with heart, I recommend The Host (for my review of it click here).

I Am Legend (2007)

I Am Legend

The Good:
I dig the premise of this story, it seems nearly every few years has a retelling of I Am Legend (copyright 1954) in one way or another. I suppose the modern zombie film has Matheson to thank for its basic plot.
I enjoyed following the character around the empty streets of New York, the little things really made the role believable.
I liked the dog.
The action was alright in it.

The Bad:
It just felt like something was missing... hard to say what, but at the end I was just saying to myself, "Well, I guess it was a movie." Nothing really excited me.
The end - blah and boo!
I would have liked a little more explanation about the "main bad guy", I mean I guess I get it but... really...
The science versus religion thing was done better in earlier film.

Overall: It was a decent enough movie, but it was better as The Omega Man or even better than that as The Last Man on Earth (for my review of it click here)!